‘I’m not his personal ATM’: 35-year-old brother accuses young sister of ruining his life when she refuses to fund his "lifestyle" because it’s his "artistic journey"

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Apr 3, 2025 6:00 AM EDT

There's something wonderfully optimistic about adults who genuinely believe their families should indefinitely support their lifestyle choices, simply because they've decided to pursue what they call art. It's as if they've crafted a universe where creativity is a valid currency, and everyone else is just too dull to understand the importance of their journey. 

Listen, I totally get it. I still dream of being a rockstar when I grow up but you gotta be Bruce Wayne about it and work until you finally see your own Bat-Signal in the sky. If this city will ever need an artist instead of a vigilante.

Individuals who blur the lines between passion and profession are not uncommon today. Using their creativity as a shield against the harsh realities of adulthood. "Artists" who expect their families to bankroll their dreams indefinitely, because they believe their art is intrinsically valuable. This problem can get worse if you suggest that maybe, just maybe, getting a job or two wouldn't hurt.

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  • Just look at this one sibling who had the audacity to tell their 35-year-old brother that he needed to stop relying on them for financial support. I get you dude, they just didn’t understand your struggle as an artist and how they are ruining your life by expecting you to be responsible. No, id don’t get you actually.

    This particular brand of entitlement can lead to some fascinating conversations, ones where rationality takes a backseat, and the concept of responsibility becomes a distant memory.

  • "I Told My 35 Year Old Brother to Stop Expecting Me to Support Him He Freaked Out"

    "He needs to wake up and face reality"
    via ugurhan

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Update: I Told My 35 Year Old Brother to Stop Expecting Me to Support Him He Freaked Out
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • Okay, I need to share something wild. So, after I posted yesterday, I wasn't expecting the response | got. But here's the plot twist: my brother José showed up at my
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • place this morning. He wasn't just upset he was furious. And, honestly, the conversation was even worse than I expected.
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • Cheezburger Image 10488608256
    via Molly the Cat

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • He told me, straight to my face, that I was "ruining his life" and that I was "no better than the rest of the family who enables him." He went on and on about how I've never understood his "struggle" as a creative person
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • and how it's unfair that I "don't support him in the way he needs." He also accused me of "being a robot in a capitalist world" and said I was too obsessed with "normal life" to appreciate what it's like to live with passion.
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • Here's the kicker: He actually had the nerve to say that I was "selfish" for expecting him to be responsible because, apparently, "that's not how artists work." He then dropped the bomb that he's
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • Cheezburger Image 10488608000
    via Molly the Cat

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • been living like this for YEARS because he's "not meant to conform to the system" and that I should "learn to let go of the idea that everyone should be stable."
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • This was a whole new level of denial he genuinely thinks the family is supposed to fund his "lifestyle" because it's his "artistic journey."
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • I'm honestly in shock. I get that he wants to live differently, but at what point is he just refusing to grow up? How is it my problem that he refuses to even try to get a stable job, especially when he's
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • wasted so many chances? I mean, he literally asked me for money, and then blew it on a concert! How is that anything but manipulation?
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • I finally told him that he needs to figure out his own life, because I'm done being his safety net. It's one thing to help out occasionally, but this has become a pattern, and I'm not his
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • personal ATM. The worst part? He tried to guilt-trip me into feeling bad for not helping, as if I owe him because "the family always does."
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • I don't know if he's ever going to see my point of view. Honestly, I think he's too far gone. But one thing's for sure: I won't be manipulated into continuing to support this cycle. He needs to
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • wake up and face reality. I do feel bad that our relationship is strained, but I'm not going to apologize for demanding accountability.
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • So, to wrap this up: I'm still standing by what I said. I have every right to expect him to get his act together. He needs to take responsibility for his own life, and
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • the rest of the family can't keep enabling him. If he's mad at me for setting boundaries, so be it. I refuse to be part of the problem anymore
    via Your_Girlfriend11
  • victoria_firebeauty NTA. You're not 'ruining his life' he's doing that all on his own. There's a difference between supporting someone and being used. He's not asking for help, he's demanding to be carried.
    via victoria_firebeauty
  • Good for you for setting boundaries. If he truly believes in his 'artistic journey,' he needs to find a way to fund it himself.
    via victoria_firebeauty
  • Third Sun Rising You never said he had to be stable. You never said he had to conform to anything or live a "normal" life. The only thing you said is, it's not your job to pay his way. If he doesn't want to make money then he can live without money. Don't let him twist that.
    via ThirdSunRising
  • hubby_dub That's a sociopath. Your brother doesn't care about you, he cares only about himself. He can find help elsewhere. You did everything you could to
    via hubby_dub
  • help. Let go of this clown. Hard to hear but he'll probably be like this forever. Cut the cord before he becomes a bigger liability
    via hubby_dub

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sculptors family drama inheritance art job brother tradition siblings creative artist actors family feud painters aunt sister artistic full time musicians
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